When we discourse with other parents, we inevitably hear that their children have got stopped coming to them with problems. Some parents make not recognize that this is a very serious warning mark that all is not well between them and their children. We have got to recognize that children, whether they are adolescents or early adults, human face many trials and tribulations. When these jobs are not properly managed, many serious jobs may come up later in their lives. By then, too much damaging harm may have got already been done and it may be too late for parents to take remedial actions.
It is therefore critical that parents go aware of this serious state of affairs, take a critical reappraisal of the situation, and program effectual schemes and take difficult actions to forestall the unneeded and awful consequences.
In this article, we shall turn to three of import facets of this issue.
(i) Searching inquiries on why our children are not coming to us with their jobs anymore.
(ii) Identify some of the causes that deter our children from sharing their problems with us.
(iii) Recommend some disciplinary actions.
That's not all. We have got got to react to them in ways that turn out to them that it is best for them to come up up to us whenever they confront have anxiousness or trouble.
Section 1: Some Searching Questions
Here are some searching inquiries for us to chew over over to assist us to break comprehend the likely grounds that cavity our children off when they come to us with their problems:
1. Are we aware of the jobs our children may be facing?
2. Are we observing our children's behaviors? Bash they move strangely, especially when they are around us?
3. Are we acting as our children's best friends, their most trusted confidants?
4. Are we showing them owed regard and consideration?
5. Are we sharing with them our ain trepidations, feelings and opinion?
6. Bash we supply the necessary support and counsel when they came to us?
7. Bash we ridicule their cockamamie uncertainties and fears?
8. Bash we assist them to get by with their loss, wretchedness and anxiety?
9. Bash we share their joy?
10. Bash we expose echt involvement when they share their concerns with us?
11. Bash we show true felicity for the clip they share with us?
12. Bash we rectify them with gradualness for the errors they do and promote them to better their behavior?
13. Rich Person we been life vertical lives ourselves?
14. Rich Person we been good function theoretical accounts for our children?
15. Rich Person we responded to them in such as a manner that they believe it is always good for them to share their ideas with us?
Section 2: Some Probable Causes
It is of import for us to seriously analyze things that we might have got got done wrongly so that our children may be encouraged to come up back to us whenever they confront any troubles or have any concerns.
While it is not easy to place the exact grounds that deter our children from discussing their ideas and fearfulnesses with us, there are many common causes that we can look into and usage them to us to develop suitable disciplinary actions.
Here are some of the more than general accounts that forestall our children from coming to us to share their worries:
1. We have got not extended to our children our empathy for the jobs they face
If our children make not experience connected to us, they may experience that everything we offer is not relevant to their jobs and will not be acceptable.
2. Our advice is "lose-lose" to our children
When we give advice, if it turns out to be correct, we acquire the credit, but when the advice turns out to be not successful, they acquire the incrimination for not being able to transport it out successfully.
3. They experience stupid when we give them instructions
When the instruction manual that come up from us, they make not experience they have got ownership. They may also experience that we believe they are not able to develop their ain solutions. We take on the place of the experts who have got got the cognition and wisdom and our children are treated as if they make not have sufficient cognition or accomplishments to cover with the problems. They may experience insulted and ill will creeps in between parents and children.
4. We Make Not Supply Solutions that are Relevant and Appropriate
This tin happen when we presume that we already cognize what the existent issues are before obtaining the inside information and examining them.
5. We Make Not Really Understand Our Children's Concerns
If we make not pass adequate clip and attempt to seek and understand the things that problem the heads of our children, how can we cognize the existent jobs that affect them?
A typical illustration may be like this: Our children come up to us to show their anxiousness over the human relationship they have got with their friend. What they are really concerned about may be how to salve the relationship. We, on the other hand, may propose that they remain away from these friends. We are prodding them to harm a human relationship that they desire to reconstruct so desperately!
6. We do not appreciate the attempts of our children
When we denigrate their attempts to get by with their problems, they will be discouraged to make attempts in solving hereafter problems.
7. Our children make not necessitate our solution
Sometimes our children just desire to share their jobs with us and make not desire or demand advice from us at all. Any effort to throw in our solutions will be damaging to our children's self-esteem.
Section 3. Recommended Pointers for Consideration
Now that we have got considered assorted possible causes that could deter our children from sharing their jobs with us, I will supply three action arrows for consideration:
1. Understand the Real Issues
We and our children have got to take the jobs to place and analyse the Earth's crusts of the problems. Promote them to place and weigh the assorted options available. Very often, the solutions go clear.
2. Show Empathy and Understanding
We must larn to demo grounds of our empathy with our children for the jobs and troubles they confront so that they experience they are with us and we are with them. It is of import to give our children the feeling that we are with them - and not just physically, but also emotionally. In this way, they will be more than willing to let on their true feelings and ideas and wisdom and be receptive to what we have got to offer.
3. Make "Win-Win" Situations
Whenever possible, we desire to make states of affairs that are "win-win" for them. For example, we promote them to develop their ain solutions and allow them take the recognition when they succeed. And they take recognition for the admirable efforts, if they fail.
I believe that with careful ideas and determinations, we can assist our children to recognize that it's always good for them to open up their Black Maria and share their jobs to us.
Resources:
http://www.jacobgan.com/Stress/Stress-In-Kids-And-Teens.html
http://www.succezz.com/Enrichment/
http://www.demystifycancer.com/Courses-Psychology.htm